A stigma is a a negative stereotype associated with a lifestyle choice. One stigma in particular that is brought to my attention constantly is the assumption that young single mothers are fast and irresponsible. I am 21 years old with a 17 month old daughter and I have felt the judgmental eyes of disapproval staring me down every time I walk outside with my child. Men think I am easy or that I "get around" simply because I am a young single mother. Women look at me with disapproval as I walk down the street or in the mall pushing a stroller and make the assumption that I am not responsible enough to care for her just because I've only been alive 21 years.
When you watch TV you don't see many shows displaying young mothers or single mothers, most series promote marriage or dating and if they do have children the parents are usually in their 30's or older. The only show I see displaying women like myself is, "Teen Mom" or "16 and Pregnant" on MTV. Though I know that these shows help young women like myself avoid the hardship of having to give their life up to be responsible for another, it also makes us feel hopeless and builds further on the stereotype that we cannot care for our children.
I understand you should wait until you are ready, finish school, have a home, transportation, a good job, and preferably a partner you vowed to be with for life for the stability of your child, but life happens and there is nothing worse then being in a situation you cannot reverse while constantly being arbitrated by society.
I know I'm not going to wake up one day with a million dollar check in my mailbox, so I get up everyday go to school, do my homework, further my education and provide a good path for my daughter to follow one day. I'm not a young single mother who spends all her time in the club or out looking for a new man, I work hard to fight the stereotypes associated with my choice in keeping my child and refuse to ever let her or myself down.
Wow! I am blown away by your writing Briana. You did a great job showing all angles of the young mother stigma and I appreciate that you shared your story. I especially liked that you talked about how the media kind of instigates the stigma and keeps it alive. When I look at you I see a gifted, beautiful, positive person. I have a lot of respect for you as a mom, period. Anyways, your writing is so graceful, I beat you are a good songwriter.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I just write whatever comes to mind. I wish it was this easy for me to write music though, that's a skill I need to work on.
DeleteI applaud your honesty, I applaud your dedication and I am so impressed with how you clearly shared your opinion. I neve really thought about the way that the media portrays young moms. You are a great role model for your daughter- keep up your hard work.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate you recognizing how hard I am trying to not fall into the stigma that comes with the territory of being a single mother. Hopefully more young women like myself will think this way.
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